COUNSELING GRACE

The Expulsive Power of a New Affection

2011-10-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

Before I became a Christian, my career goal was to study medicine and become a doctor. On my college campus, I would go to the pre-med department on the third floor of the Science Building to read through the medical school pamphlets (these were the days before the internet). I was always reading books about medical schools and medical school students. I participated in a medical school summer program for prospective students at the University of Virginia Medical School. I savored every moment of it as we visited the different units in the hospitals and sat in lecture halls listening to the latest medical topics.

Medicine was my passion, my first love (career-wise). Until…the expulsive power of a new affection entered my life. At the end of my college career, I became a new creature in Jesus Christ. A brand new world opened up to me and I was seduced. I fell in love with Jesus Christ and His Word. My heart’s desire now is to pursue Him and learn and serve Him for the rest of my days. I have moved across the country to study His Word. I no longer have the desire to study medicine. There is a sense of a lost love for medicine, but my new love in Christ has my heart completely.

Thomas Chalmers in The Expulsive Power of a New Affection could have written this sermon in the 21st century. He powerfully illustrates the differences between loving the world and loving God. His concern was for the Christians in the church to replace their love for the world with love for God. The thesis of this sermon is the heart of man holds on to one love until another love that is stronger than the first comes along. There are several principles Chalmers lays out in this sermon. He describes two ways for a person to stop loving the world: 1. by observing the vanity in the world or 2. by displacing the love of the world with a new love, God to be exact. Ultimately he shows that the only sufficient replacement is the love of God in the Gospel.

Thomas Chalmers teaches that it is futile or even dangerous to take away an old affection without replacing it with a new one. It just won’t work. A new desire must replace the old one. Chalmers says, “...the most effectual way of withdrawing the mind from one object, is not by turning it away upon desolate and unpeopled vacancy-but by presenting to its regards another object still more alluring.” Pointing out the world’s flaws is not enough to dislodge worldly affections from the human heart. The heart is not left without something to hold on to. There is always an object of its affection in place.

Chalmers points out that overindulgence in gratifications and enjoyments can bring on weariness. Solomon spoke of this in the Old Testament when he came to the conclusion that the pursuit of worldly things is vanity. I can see this in America in terms of gluttony. Americans have an abundance of food. We have not only abundance, but a variety of foods to choose. We have indulged so much in this area of sin, that we are physically debilitated or dying from abusing our bodies. With all the weight loss solutions and exercise programs, we have become weary of our overindulgence in our affection toward food.

Man can only find usefulness in a loving relationship with God. Chalmers states, “The love of God and the love of the world, are two affections, not merely in a state of rivalship, but in a state of enmity - and that so irreconcilable, that they cannot dwell together in the same bosom.” Chalmers is so on target with this statement. Our hearts can not love the world and love God. But there are so many Christians deceived into thinking that this is possible. We are worshippers by nature. Our hearts can not be devoted to more than one thing at a time.

The believer has but one hope; as Thomas Chalmers says, “...to live without hope, is to live without God. The Gospel is our greatest and only hope in breaking from the world’s chains. The Gospel of Jesus Christ in more powerful and appealing than anything the world has to offer to those who are the elect. At the end of his sermon, Chalmers appeals to his audience to find access to their hearts for the love of God who is greater than the world.

HELP! I'M A SLAVE TO FOOD

2011-07-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

Do you describe yourself as a food addict?

Do you feel that the Chocolate Chip Cookie has power over you?

If you do, then read this little booklet to help you break free from that prison!

I have written this booklet for two compelling reasons.

FIRST, my interest in this topic is very personal. There have been times in my life when I was a slave to food. You could say that food was my drug of choice. It consumed my life. I tried to use food as a balm for unwanted emotions. I used food to distract me from undesirable responsibilities. It brought a false sense of pleasure and satisfaction, only to end in confusion and betrayal.

Today, by God’s empowering grace, I am walking victoriously in the words of Jesus that “life is more than food” (Luke 12:23) and “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4). I realized that food was not a magic pill to make all of my problems go away. I finally turned to Jesus for real this time. I surrendered my sinful motives to Him. Then and only then was I able to experience John 8:32, “and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."

SECOND, I’m concerned about the effectiveness of the Christian church. Excessive overeating, which is called gluttony in the Bible, can no longer be considered a subtle, respectable, and silent sin. It is hindering the spiritual growth and effectiveness of many Christians. In the Bible, excessive eating and drinking are often associated with each other. Proverbs 23:21 and Deuteronomy 21:20 put overeating in the same category as drunkenness.

Elyse Fitzpatrick says, “Think about it as the difference between having a glass of wine with dinner and getting drunk. Gluttony is similar to getting drunk on food.” If practicing alcoholics were attending your church, would you not have the compassion to reach out to them and help them? The same thing goes for church members who are in bondage to overeating.
This little booklet isn’t the latest diet plan for losing weight. It is a compass to point you in the direction of getting to the heart of your overeating and to lead you to the only way of escape, which is through Jesus Christ. Only Jesus can truly bring you out of slavery and into true freedom.

Women Discipling Women Conference 2010

2010-07-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all of the ladies who came out for my seminar titled, "Room Service: Exposing the Sin of Overeating!" at the Women Discipling Women Conference today.

Thanks for all of your kind faces. It was my first presentation ever and first time using powerpoint!

I appreciate your patience as I went through a lengthy outline. I know I gave you alot of information in a short amount of time. Please feel free to contact me for more information about this topic.

Here are some references for your own personal study:

1. Setting Captives Free

Setting Captives Free exists to offer Christ-centered Hope and Freedom to those in the grip of sin through accountablity to Bible-based Truth resulting in the true enjoyment of Life in and for the Glory of God.

The Lord's Table is a FREE 60-Day in interactive course that will teach you to enjoy a newfound relationship with the Lord and how to find freedom from bad eating habits.

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/

2. Uncommon Vessels: A Program for Developing Godly Eating Habits by Elyse Fitzpatrick

Uncommon Vessels is a comprehensive program developed to deal with the issues at the heart of undisciplined eating habits. With the Bible as a guide Elyse Fitzpatrick has created a program that can be used with ease in your church to help women grow in the following areas:

*Discovering God's perspective on food, eating and dietiing
*Determining God's goals for the development of godly eating habits
*Describing the Bible's plan for disciplined eating
*Detecting habitual thoughts and habits that thwart growth in discipline
*Developing a stronger fellowship and prayer among participants

3. First Place 4 Health

The First Place 4 Health is a reliable, proven method of weight loss and healthy living. It is a biblical approach to weight losss and overall health management, which puts Christ first and improves every area of a person's life. This Christ-centered, balanced weight-loss and healthy living program has guided hundreds of thousands of people to a healthy lifestyle and a closer walk with the Lord.

http://www.firstplace4health.com/

4. God's Answer To Overeating: A Study of Scriptural Attitudes by Ann Thomas Betea

5. Overcoming Overeating: It's Not What You Eat, It's What's Eating You! by Lisa Morrone, PT

Matthew 22:37 And He said to him, "You Should Love The Lord Your God With All Your Heart, And With All Your Soul, And With All Your Mind."

2009-04-13T23:28:00.000-07:00

THE LORD'S PRAYER

Pray, then, in this way:

Our Father who is in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

An unknown author summarizes The Lord's Prayer:

I cannot say “our” if I live only for myself in a spiritual, watertight compartment.

I cannot say “Father” if I do not endeavor each day to act like His child.

I cannot say “who art in heaven” if I am laying up no treasure there.

I cannot say “hallowed be Thy name” if I am not striving for holiness.

I cannot say “Thy kingdom come” if I am not doing all in my power to hasten that wonderful day.

I cannot say “Thy will be done” if I am disobedient to His Word.

I cannot say “on earth as it is in heaven” if I will not serve Him here and now.

I cannot say “give us . . . our daily bread” if I am dishonest or an “under-the-counter” shopper.

I cannot say “forgive us our debts” if I harbor a grudge against anyone.

I cannot say “lead us not into temptation” if I deliberately place myself in its path.

I cannot say “deliver us from evil” if I do not put on the whole armor of God.

I cannot say “Thine is the kingdom” if I do not give to the King the loyalty due Him as a faithful subject.

I cannot attribute to Him “the power” if I fear what men may do.

I cannot ascribe to Him “the glory” if I am seeking honor only for myself.

I cannot say “forever” if the horizon of my life is bounded completely by the things of time.

[1]MacArthur, J. (1995). Alone with God. Includes indexes. Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books.

BIBLICAL COUNSELING SERIES

2008-10-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

LIFE DOMINATING SINS
Part I

SECTION 1: BACKGROUND

What is Biblical Counseling?

Biblical counseling is basically counseling from the bible; applying God’s Word to our problems.
The Bible is very clear in teaching that it holds the answers for us to live our lives in a godly way.
"All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

2 Timothy 3:16-17
Biblical counseling is a commitment to the belief that God through His word and the Holy Spirit is the one we should turn to for instruction in dealing with our problems.
What’s the difference between Biblical counseling and Psychology?

There is great competition between whether believers will use psychological or biblical counseling or a combination of the two. All counseling methods have at least one goal in common: to change people. What kind of change? How is the person to change? What standard of change is used?We live in a psychologized society. The misconception is while pastors and fellow believers may be able to minister spiritually; they are not equipped to minister psychologically. The belief is that only psychological experts can minister to psychological issues. We are left with the feeling that the Word of God is insufficient, unsophisticated, and unable to offer solutions for people’s deepest spiritual and emotional problems.

Psychology means the study of the soul. Psychological counseling is merely professionalized methods that contain the opinions and wisdom of men to give answers dealing with the soul. The focus is to seek to change people in order to elevate themselves and to love themselves above all. The hub of psychology is self: self-love, self-worth, self-image, self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-actualization.Christian counseling generally refers to the integration of scripture and psychology. Its goal is to create change in a person by putting together man’s wisdom and God’s wisdom. Compromise on one side or the other is inevitable. God’s truth is not changeable, but psychology’s truth is changeable. The method of integrating psychological “truth” with the truth of Scriptures ultimately weakens Christianity.Biblical counseling is applying God’s Word to the heart in order to produce change in a person’s life that pleases God.

The focus of Biblical Counseling is God. It relies on the foundational principles that God has provided in His Word, on the Holy Spirit, and on the power of prayer.God’s Word is the authoritative source and must be foundational to our view of people, problems and solutions. That is the goal of Biblical Counseling. Its primary thrust is to call Christians back to the Bible and to minister according to the Word of God instead of the wisdom of man.

Biblical counseling aims to rename the issues of the heart in biblical terms and helps us rethink responses and remedies according to Scripture. Personal happiness is not the focus. The greater goal is to assist the believer in the process of sanctification by growing in spiritual maturity and reflecting God’s glory--goals that often result in happiness.

Worldly/Psychological philosophies teaches:
I must love myself
I must get my needs met
I have a need for romance
I have a need for security
I have a need for significance
I need to fill my own “love cup”

These kinds of thoughts cloud our thinking and crowd their way in our faith and fill us with despair. We think, “How could God expect me to pour my life out for others when I am so miserable myself?” “Don’t I need to fill my own “love cup” before I can fill others?” And what if my circumstances never change?, then I can never be happy. We believe that we have to wait for our circumstances to change before we can be a joyous servant of God!

Luke 9:23-24
23 And He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.
24 "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.

Sadly, for most churches, Jesus’ words seem archaic and out of touch. For instance, how am I to lose my life and deny myself while I’m seeking to affirm and love myself?

The fact that Luke 9:23-24 seems impractical or contradictory demonstrates how far down the road of worldly thinking we have come.

God’s Promises and Benefits

God has given us everything for life and godliness. Do you believe that?

2 Peter 1:3
seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence

John 10:10
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Abundant life is found in the pursuit of God-honoring holiness. It is holiness—the humility of spirit, the mourning over sin, the hungering and thirsting for righteousness—that will produce in us that happy blessedness that Jesus spoke of in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). Abundant life is life that is freed from the power of sin and filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, focused on the pleasure of God and resting in His love.

Our greatest need is to know God. We were created for His pleasure, not our own. Our true happiness and abundant life springs out of setting our eyes, our hopes, and our desires on Christ and keeping them there.

Our heart’s desire must be to live a faithful Christian life to God’s glory, walking in Christ’s promised abundant life. We won’t succeed in that goal if we start with ourselves as the center or focus of life or if we start with human philosophies as our guide.

We must start at the right place, with God as the source and meaning of all of life, with His glory and pleasure as paramount, and with His Word as the light upon your path and the only guide for life.

SECTION 2: LIFE-DOMINATING SINS

What are life-dominating sins?

A life-dominating sin is a problem of misdirected worship that issues from an idolatrous heart. Negative consequences of sinful behaviors are not enough to make you stop. Once a pattern has become a habit, it has become almost a part of one’s nature. As we say, it has become second nature.

James 1:8 describes this person as a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

When a person can be labeled as a drunkard, homosexual, a drug addict, liar, etc., she has a life dominating problem.

An addict is one who devotes or surrenders (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively. Addiction is not a biblically term. What word does God use in the Scriptures that describe an addiction?

The Origin:

Read Ezekiel 14:1-4
In the Old Testament, idolatry was most closely associated with the worship of tangible objects made from wood, metal, or stone. The Old Testament prophets made it perfectly clear that the object was not as important as the significance ascribed to it in the heart of the worshiper.

For the elders of Israel, the thought of idols was not one which they casually considered and dismissed. It was a seductive thought which they embraced and to which they gave great forethought.

Preoccupation with a substance or behavior—doesn’t this describe the addict?

Read Colossians 3:5
Paul broadens our understanding of idolatry when he includes idols in the definition. Addiction is a problem of misdirected worship that issues from an idolatrous heart. Simply put, addiction is idolatry.

A Christian who is dominated by sin is someone who does not know the character of God or has chosen to doubt and ignore the truth about God that she may already know. She has forgotten that He alone is worthy of worship and able to redeem her from her sorrows. Because she is selfishly demanding and unwilling to come before God on His terms, apply His solutions, and wait on His timetable, she turns to gods of her own design.

(Read Isaiah 44:9-20)

Isaiah 44:15-17

Isaiah exposes the irony of idolatry. Often the things that the idolater idolizes are good things that God has given for humanity’s benefit: food, exercise, medicine, etc. When we use them properly, we demonstrate that they are indeed subservient to us. Yet we exalt them as gods when we look to them for assistance or a salvation that they cannot give.

At the outset, idols become trusted friends because they do indeed deliver what the idolater may be seeking. She is enticed by her own lusts, embraces the lie that this false god is somehow profitable. In the process, she closes her heart to the truth and opens it to deception and delusion. Her heart is deceived and her eyes are spiritually blinded.

Life Dominating Sins
Gluttony- (food, sugar, sodas)
Compulsive shopping/Gambling/Materialism
Sexual immorality- (pornography, masturbation, romance novels, homosexuality)
Substance Abuse- (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, prescription medication, nose spray)
Exercise
Anger
Anxiety
Relationships
Ministry
Laziness
Work
Television/Internet/Telephone
Sports
Gossip
Perfectionism
Pride
Depression
Grief

Characteristics:
Deuteronomy 21:18-20
Proverbs 20:1;Proverbs 23:20-21;Proverbs 23:29-35;Proverbs 31:4-5
Isaiah 5:11-12;Isaiah 28:7-8;Ephesians 5:18

Sorrow
Discontentment
lack of wisdom
forgetfulness
laziness
lacks motivation
financial trouble
stubbornness
poor judgment
delusions
hallucinations
suspiciousness
lying
pursuit of pleasure and entertainment
irresponsible lifestyle
neglects good nutrition, rest, and exercise
poor physical appearance
bloodshot or dull eyes
disheveled
weight loss or gain
long-term physical impairment
contentions and arguments
strained or broken relationships
withdrawal from others
mistreatment and abuse of others
disrespect of authority (God, civil, parental, or employer)
law-breaking, rebellion, open hostility
disregard for punishment and the natural consequences of wrong behavior, endangerment of self and others
Lack of concern for the things of the Lord

A PRAYER OF COMPLETE SURRENDER

2006-06-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

Lord Jesus,

I give up all my plans and purposes,
All my own desires and hopes
And accept Your will for my life
With a heart full of joy.

I give myself, my life, my all
Utterly to You to be Yours forever
With a heart of complete surrender
And thanksgiving.

Give me total satisfaction in You.
Fill me with Your Holy Spirit,
Use me as You will, send me where You will
And work out Your whole will in my life
At any cost now and forever. Amen!

I have been crucified with Christ;

It is no longer I who live, But Christ lives in me;

And the life which I now live in the flesh

I live by faith in the Son of God,

Who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

IS SELF-ESTEEM HEALTHY?

2006-04-28T00:59:00.000-07:00

The self-esteem movement has so influenced our thinking that it has infiltrated the Christian church. We are taught that the basis of all our problems is our lack of self-worth and we must do all we can to increase our self-esteem. Dr. James Dobson from Focus on the Family has stated in an article that, “It is important for parents to build up their child’s self-esteem: providing a safe, loving, accepting environment will reassure your child and teach him that, with support, he can be or do anything” (http://www.troubledwith.com/ “Low Self-esteem”).

In other words he is saying that it is solely up to the parents to create such an environment for the child to be and do anything he wants to be or do; and apart from that the child can not be or do anything. This way of thinking is to be expected in the non-believing world, but Dr. James Dobson professes to be a Christian. He is supposedly speaking from a Christian prospective.

The problem here is that an all-powerful God is not factored into his theory. When God is not the authority, the parents then become all-sovereign. He believes the parent’s job is to build the child’s self-esteem. Empty praises and protecting the child from failures have done more harm than good. A generation of children is growing up not being able to handle criticism in the real world. Then his high self-esteem plummets to an all-time low. Their happiness and well-being are based on the whims of his life circumstances.

Dr. Dobson has no biblical basis for claiming that the parent’s role is to build up their child’s self-esteem. His understanding of mankind is that he is not focused on himself enough. Sin is not the problem that ails an individual’s soul, but a lack of self-esteem is the culprit. The proponents of the self-esteem movement believe that a lack of self-esteem leads to crime and drug abuse; but high self-esteem leads to success and happiness. Much effort has been made to teach children and adults how to increase their self-worth. The fact that many people are running to counselors to focus on themselves and boost their self-esteem is proof that their focus is wrong. It does not work. Increased self-esteem increases selfishness and leads to self-destruction.

In Successful Christian Parenting, John MacArthur brings home the biblical perspective on the self-esteem movement. In chapter 2, “Understanding Your Child’s Greatest Need,” MacArthur brilliantly demonstrates that self-esteem in not the answer. MacArthur states, “Hard work, true excellence, good behavior, and self-control have all been sacrificed at the altar of self-esteem” (p.41). The idea of not correcting the child’s mistakes for fear of devaluing him is completely contrary to God’s Word. This way of parenting creates self-centered monsters.

In contrast to Dobson’s statement, “It is important for parents to build up their child’s self-esteem: providing a safe, loving, accepting environment will reassure your child and teach him that, with support, he can be or do anything,” MacArthur points to the fact that when children are brought up in an environment where they are permitted to be anything and to do anything without restraint or correction, “inevitably the result is disaster” (p.34).

Scripture tells us that foolishness is in the heart of every child conceived. Proverbs 22:15 proclaims, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him” (NASB). It is taught throughout the Scriptures that every single one of us is born a sinner. We have the propensity to sin the minute we are conceived. David eloquently proclaims: “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5).

The miracle of conception is not sin, but the human creation is already defiled due to the Fall back in Genesis. How can Dr. Dobson ignore the claims of God’s Word when He tells us that no one is righteous, not even children? (Romans 3:10). From the womb we come out speaking lies. The Psalmist tells us, “The wicked are estranged from the womb; these who speak lies go astray from birth” (58:3). If we are born sinners and left to ourselves, we will completely self-destruct. This “narcissistic” view of ourselves will ultimately backfire. Self-esteem is the antithesis of self-control. Self-control is the only self-ism commended in the Scriptures as a fruit of the Spirit.

So what should the focus be? MacArthur says, “There’s only one remedy for the child’s inborn depravity: The new birth—regeneration” (p.42). The only way a child or anyone can have ultimate success and a meaningful life is through Jesus Christ. Being born of the Spirit of God empowers one to live a life of righteousness and fulfill God’s purpose for his life. MacArthur encourages parent to teach the gospel to their children. They must be shown their need for a Savior. Let them know that Jesus Christ is the only One who can save them from their sins. He explains that it is not in the parent’s power to regenerate their children.

It is the sovereignty of God who draws them to Himself. He admonishes parents to be the godlyexample in the home. Children observe their parent’s lives up close, whether they are living right or not. So parents are called to teach the Word to their children. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 proclaim: “And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” When parents focus on building up their child’s self-esteem, not correcting their sinful behavior and protecting them from failure, they are ignoring the greatest need of their child. Parents are to be teaching their children to deny themselves, take up their cross and follow Jesus.

TOXIC PSYCHIATRY

2006-04-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

Peter R. Breggin, M.D. wrote a disturbing chapter in Toxic Psychiatry titled, “Suppressing the Passion of Children with Hospitalization and with Drugs, Such as Ritalin and Mellaril.” He reports that the drugging of children has escalated in America. Millions of school-boys and girls are on Ritalin and other psychiatric medications.

He strongly argues that too many of America’s children are needlessly exposed to psychiatric drugs. In this chapter he sites a host of experimental data, case studies, and a wide range of professional opinion to support his argument. He illustrates the power psychiatry has over children once their parents admit them to a mental hospital.

Dr. Breggin explains that psychiatry is not interested in protecting the children’s needs and rights. Its interest is to increase its bottom dollar. They must advertise to get more bodies to fill their psychiatric beds. So they campaign to convince parents to admit their “troubled” children into mental hospitals. Dr. Breggin describes the vigorous ad campaigns of Charter Hospitals to fill their beds. I have to admit that years ago I found the Charter Hospital commercials very soothing and caring. However, I was blinded to their underlining mission to seduce parents who have children with behavioral problems to send them to their hospitals for treatment.

In this chapter, Dr. Breggin expresses his frustration over medicating children and teenagers who are hospitalized and institutionalized. His research shows that children are given antidepressants and sedatives that adults are given. He is further exasperated by the failure of the pediatric neurologists to warn the families of the risks involved receiving drug treatment.

Dr. Breggin reports that the use of Ritalin is increasing exceedingly. He points out the psychiatric industry’s lack of interest in how the drug makes children feel. With adults, that is the first piece of data the doctor records. But it is ignored when it comes to children. This drug is “popular” because it renders the hyperactive child listless and emotionally suppressed. This benefits the parents and teachers because no one has to deal with the child’s behavioral problems.

In some cases psychiatric drugs can actually cause the defect within the child creating psychoses and aggression in children. Basically drugs do not help in finding the reasons for their emotional and behavioral problems; they simply make the feelings less real.

Dr. Breggin argues that modern psychiatry and psychiatric drugs are not solutions to the suffering and rebelliousness of America’s children. He recognizes that parenting is the most difficult job in the world, but the responsibility lies with the parents. The parents must put in the hard work it takes to raise their children. The child’s environment needs to be stable, full of love, respect and protection.

According to Dr. Breggin, children who are psychiatric patients are treated as objects, not human beings. Psychiatry’s interest is to make money by getting mental hospital beds occupied and drug therapy forced upon unsuspecting children. They fail to warn the parents of the damaging effects of the drugs. Their power has infiltrated the public school system, insurance companies and the government health care system. His solution is for parents to take back the responsibility for their children by creating an environment of love, respect, empathy and protection.

Dr. Breggin’s solutions are definitely headed in the right direction. Parents seeking the wisdom of psychiatrists are not the answer. Drug therapy is not the answer. It is beneficial to create a loving environment for the child that fosters respect and protection. But a key element is missing.

this chapter, I saw no indication that Dr. Breggin is a Christian; therefore I did not expect any biblical solutions to this growing problem. For lasting change to take place problems must be dealt with in a biblical fashion. Drugs deal with the feelings and the mind, but biblical principles deal with the heart issues. Ultimately it is the power of the Holy Spirit in the believing child to overcome his/ her personal and severe problems.

HOPE IN HIM

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD

And whose trust is the LORD

Jeremiah 17:7

GOD'S DIVINE DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

2006-02-06T09:16:00.001-08:00

The institution of marriage is in deep trouble. Society is working hard to redefine marriage. They have actually created a term called “same-sex” marriage. Is that not an oxymoron based on the Biblical view of marriage? Who would have thought it could be possible? How did our society come to such an abominable concept of marriage?

The biblical view of marriage originates with God. The God of the Bible instituted marriage with His ideals and purposes. Did not God clearly define marriage between male and female? Genesis 2:24 states, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” God shows that marriage is made up of one man and one woman. We are divinely designed to become one flesh. God meant for marriage to be a long-term covenant to bring Him glory.

The primary purposed for marriage is companionship. In Genesis 2:18, God proclaimed, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” The divine purpose for marriage is to do away with loneliness. God created marriage to meet man’s need for companionship. The woman is to fulfill man’s need for companionship and the man is to fulfill the woman’s need for companionship. Marriage is not defined by procreation, sexual union, and fulfillment, but it does imply that these obligations and pleasures are a part of marriage. This holy covenant includes loving intimacy and commitment which in turn produces security. Isn’t that what people are looking for? God’s purpose and standard for marriage alone produces meaning, happiness, and fulfillment.

In contrast to this Biblical view of marriage, Roman Catholicism and Psychology have their own concept of marriage. Roman Catholicism holds the view that marriage is a sacrament and is primarily for procreation. They believe the marriage covenant can never be broken although Jesus says in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery.” Also Paul shows that abandonment is ground for divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:15, “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.” The history of the marriage law in the Roman Catholic church shows that procreation was the primary purpose for marriage. That view equates marriage with mating. As society clearly illustrates that marriage is not necessary to populate the earth. There are so many out-of-wedlock births who can count? That view also demeans marriage because animals mate without a marital union. It’s just there nature. Marriage is much more than for mating purposes.

The psychotherapeutic concept of marriage is self-fulfillment. The purpose of marriage is to meet the needs of oneself and not particularly the partner’s. The very foundation of this view of marriage is overwhelming self-centeredness and self-indulgence. It is based on fantasy. It is the pursuit of the perfect romantic and sexual relationship which is doomed to failure because it will never live up to reality. They chase after the illusions they see in the movies and sitcoms on television. Sadly so many Christians have fallen into this mindset. Influenced by secular psychologist’s views on marriage with the popular self-help books and talk shows, the Christian church has become defiled by Satan’s wisdom.

The Christian church does not read and study her Bible. If she did, she would not be looking like the secular world. We are called to be the salt and light of the world. Matthew 5:13-14 states, “You are the salt of the earth…You are the light of the world.” Christians are to be different. How will the world know what Christ and the church look like if our marriages look like theirs? We are called to a higher standard. We are called to a higher purpose. John MacArthur states in Different By Design that “Our responsibility is to a higher level of living- to a new way of thinking, a new way of acting.” We are to solve marital difficulties by using Biblical solutions that require us to be like Jesus Christ. The world will never see Jesus if we solve our problems like they do.

Without the Biblical view of marriage, the very institution of marriage is sought to be radically changed or be eliminated altogether. It is scary to see that more and more we as a nation are fulfilling what Paul said in the book of Timothy. He states,
“1But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4treachers, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; 13But evil men and imposters will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.” (2 Timothy 3: 1-4, 13)

As we seek our own ideal for marriage, we will fall into more and more sin. In the United States alone we see the effects of the breakdown of family. Everything becomes out of order; the role of the husband and father, the role of the wife and mother and even the role of children. The marriage institution is meant to be the building block for human society. Out of it comes companionship between a man and a woman whom God uses to demonstrate to the world the relationship between Christ and His church. May our nation return to God’s original design for marriage!

And He answered and said, "Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh'? Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

Matthew 19:4-6

CHANGE YOUR BAD HABITS

2006-01-09T21:10:00.000-08:00

True biblical change is manifested in a person’s heart by putting off sinful habit patterns and putting on godly and biblical habit patterns. Mark 7: 21-23 describes the sinful behavior patterns in need of change. It states, “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man."

The first step in putting off these evil deeds is salvation in Jesus Christ. It is the indwelling Holy Spirit that empowers the believer to replace the evil behavior with godly behavior. This produces the fruit of the Spirit that must be put on in place of the fruit of the ungodly. Galatians 5:22-24 describes the godly behavior patterns. It states, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

The biblical alternative for evil thoughts is self-control. Philippians 4:8 states, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.” Self- control is necessary to stop dwelling on wrong thoughts and replace them with what God requires for us to occupy our minds.

The biblical alternative for adultery is faithfulness. God will judge adulterers. Hebrews 13:4 states, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” God’s purpose is for the husband and wife to be one flesh and to keep the bed undefiled. One who practices such behavior will not enter the Kingdom of God.

The adultery must first repent, acknowledging the he has sinned against God and turn from that behavior by declaring his faithfulness to God. God requires us to be faithful to our brothers and sisters in Christ and to strangers, that includes spouses. John encourages the reader to be faithful in whatever we do. 3 John 5 states, “Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the brethren and for strangers.” God-honoring faith always produces God-honoring works.

The biblical alternative for murder is peace. Anger left unattended leads to murder. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” This passage describes the danger of anger leading to murder and the importance of making peace. This deadly anger must be put off and replaced with the peace of reconciliation.

These are just a few examples of how to put off bad behavior and how to put on godly behavior.
God has given us everything we need to live lives that please Him. Open His Word, read it and be faithful to do what it says.

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Romans 15:4

HOW I BECAME A CHRISTIAN

2005-12-06T21:01:00.000-08:00

I grew up in a family where my Mom took my siblings and me to church. My Dad would stay out all night or just stayed asleep on the couch. No one in our family was truly a Christian. Maybe my maternal Granny, but I really will not know until I get to heaven. I hope to see her there. We went to church out of tradition. We participated in the children’s programs for Easter and Vacation Bible School.

The only values I had in my home were the “old-fashioned” values: be a good girl, no sex until you are older, make good grades, be kind to your elders, no drugs or alcohol. As I got older, I got really involved in school activities, mainly cheerleading and track and I got good grades. I also became popular with my friends and hanging out with them, listening to secular music. I was also allowed to get birth control pills which in my mind gave me permission to have sex. The idea of no sex before marriage was a foreign concept in our household.

This lifestyle continued as I entered college until my second year. A friend whom I knew from high school and during college, invited me to her church. I knew this friend had a worse history than mine, so I was curious to find out what church meant to her. She sung in the choir and seemed to have some type of happiness about her.

I remember going to this church in a black mini-skirt and a gold V- neck blouse. I did not think anything of it. But after attending this church for awhile, I began to see things differently. I was pretty content in my life, but these people seemed to have something more than I had. They had this joy about Jesus that I did not have. I wanted to know more.

Due to my college class experiences, I always took copious notes. The pastor did a series of sermons on salvation. He first talked about sin. I learned that sin is doing, thinking and saying anything that displeases God. He told us to look up two verses. Romans 3:23 which states, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God ...." and Romans 6:23 which says, "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." I had to admit that I was a sinner and to actually turned from my sins, both small and large. He quoted Acts 3:19 which says, "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord."

Then he said I had to believe Jesus Christ died on the cross to save me from my sins and to give me eternal life. John 3:16 says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.“ I read that verse before, but now it had new meaning to me. I wanted to know more. He read in John 14:6 that Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." The pastor said I must come to Jesus by faith because it says in Ephesians 2:8, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."

He explained that salvation is by grace, through faith. There’s nothing I did, or ever can do, to deserve it. It’s a free gift from God. All I have to do is receive it! Each time I took notes, I was beginning to understand something about Jesus that I never understood. For the first time Jesus was becoming real to me. The scales were falling off my spiritual eyes. I began to dress more conservatively. I was uncomfortable listening to secular music on the radio. I was convicted about being sexually active.

Something else got my attention as I was understanding the Scriptures. I had never seen young or old black men expressing love for Jesus through preaching and singing. It was actually something I never saw before. In my church back home, the only man I saw who mentioned anything about Jesus was the pastor. The women took over everything else.

But seeing black men surrendered to Jesus and being godly leaders in the church melted my heart. I wanted to love Jesus like they did. With this irresistible pull toward the Jesus of the Bible, I was undone.

On March 22, 1992, I had just left a church service that Saturday night. I was deeply moved by the love displayed for Jesus and others in the congregation. I could not resist any longer. Romans 10: 9-10 was in the sermon notes and it states, "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."

And that’s what I did. At the age of 21, alone in my dorm room, I confessed Jesus as Lord and Savior and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. I knew instantly my life would never be the same again.

THE BELIEVER'S REDEMPTION

Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature;

the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

WHY BIBLICAL COUNSELING?

2005-11-22T13:38:00.000-08:00

Some of you may be wondering why did I leave everything behind and move all the way from the east coast to the west coast with my little one to study Biblical Counseling. Some folks thought I was crazy and did try to discourage me a little bit. But I knew what I had to do!

Over the years of listening to John MacArthur (my spiritual father) on Grace To You and Elizabeth Elliot (my spiritual mother) on Gateway To Joy, I came to have an insatiable desire for the Word of God.

I first heard of the Biblical Counseling graduate program at The Master's College on Grace To You radio in 1996. At that time, I was a Christian of three years, married and struggling with giving up a long-time dream of going to medical school. The more I grew in the knowledge of the Word the less I trusted people's opinions about the meaning of life. I researched Christian counseling programs in the surrounding area on the east coast and found no program that upheld the Bible as supreme in answering the questions of the human heart.

Also at that time psychology and counseling were increasing in popularity at the liberal arts colleges. More and more talk shows were using the "expert" psychologists to explain why people do the things they do and to give solutions for people's problems. Of course, there was no mention of God at all, only the god of self.

Also, pastors were more and more burden with the "sins" of the congregation that they felt inadequate to counsel people with destructive sin issues. Pastors felt they had no where else to turn except to the "professional" psychological counselors.

So how is Biblical Counseling different from any other counseling, even Christian Couseling?

There is great competition between whether believers will use psychological or biblical counseling or a combination of the two. All counseling methods have at least one goal in common: to change people. What kind of change? How is the person to change? What standard of change is used?

We live in a psychologized society. The misconception is while pastors and fellow believers may be able to minister spiritually, they are not equipped to minister psychologically. The belief is that only psychological experts can minister to psychological issues. We are left with the feeling that the Word of God is insufficient, unsophisticated, and unable to offer solutions for people’s deepest spiritual and emotional problems.

Psychology means the study of the soul. Psychological counseling is merely professionalized methods that contain the opinions and wisdom of men to give answers dealing with the soul. The focus is to seek to change people in order to elevate themselves and to love themselves above all. The hub of psychology is self: self-love, self-worth, self-image, self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-actualization.

Christian counseling generally refers to the integration of scripture and psychology. It’s goal is to create change in a person by putting together man’s wisdom and God’s wisdom. Compromise on one side or the other is inevitable. God’s truth is not changeable, but psychology’s truth is changeable. The method of integrating psychological “truth” with the truth of Scriptures ultimately weakens Christianity.

Biblical counseling is applying God’s Word to the heart in order to produce change in a person’s life that pleases God. The focus of Biblical Counseling is God. It relies on the foundational principles that God has provided in His Word, on the Holy Spirit, and on the power of prayer.

God’s Word is the authoritative source and must be foundational to our view of people, problems and solutions. That is the goal of Biblical Counseling. Its primary thrust is to call Christians back to the Bible and to minister according to the Word of God instead of the wisdom of man.

Biblical counseling is the alternative to psychological counseling. It aims to rename the issues of the heart in biblical terms and helps us rethink responses and remedies according to Scripture.Personal happiness is not the focus. The greater goal is to assist the believer in the process of sanctification by growing in spiritual maturity and reflecting God’s glory--goals that often result in happiness.

GOD'S COMFORT

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Thy consolations delight my soul.

Psalm 94:19

WHAT DO YOU TREASURE?

2005-11-02T22:22:00.000-08:00

Read the question again. What do you treasure? What are you really treasuring in your life today? Is there somebody that you regard as most valuable? Do you prize something as being of great worth? Some people treasure money or objects of wealth. Some people treasure sex or career. Some people treasure their family above all things.

The subject of this blog was inspired by one of my readers. I was asked how can I believe all of the “stuff” that I believe about God and the Bible. It’s an excellent question because the whole reason for my existence and even for creating this blog, is grounded in what I treasure. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Luke 12:34 ).

Jesus Christ is my treasure. I love Him. I cherish Him and I bank all of my hopes upon Him. But it hasn’t always been that way and I still have a lot of growing to do in that area. I am learning that putting anyone or anything before Christ is idolatry. Idols are things or people who take away your appetite for the things of God.

Remember when you were little, you wanted to eat candy or dessert before dinner. Your mom probably said something like, “Eating that junk will spoil your dinner.” In her motherly wisdom, she knew your appetite would be satisfied with something that wasn’t sufficient to help your little body grow. She wanted you to feed your body the proper nutrients required to have a strong, healthy body.

God is gracious to give us physical realities to help us understand spiritual realities. If we feed our souls on the junk food of this world, we will not have an appetite for the things of God. Paul reminds us in Colossians 3: 2 to “set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.” What unhealthy substitutes are you feeding on? Are you filling your spirit with immoral relationships, schedules busy with empty things, hours of frivolous TV watching, futile social events? These distractions cheat us out of God’s unique purpose for our lives.

Well you may ask, “How do you get there?“ I’m sure you’ve heard it said that if you want to get rid of a bad habit, you must replace it with a good habit. Paul tells us in Colossians Chapter 3 to put off the old man and put on the new man. For example, have you ever been on one of the popular food plans to lose weight? Most of the junk food that you were use to eating were off limits. You could only eat what was healthy and only in small portions. After a few days on this food plan a fresh bowl of raw vegetables seemed scrumptious, right? You couldn't wait to dig in. That’s because when you give yourself the option of eating only healthy foods, your appetite for it increases. The same is true for our spiritual appetites.

Look at your life. What is distracting you from reading your Bible, praying, pondering and living out God’s call on your life? What about church? Are you there interacting with other believers and participating in corporate worship, which pleases God? In Colossians 3:5, Paul urges us to “…consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.” Did you get that? Paul is saying to put idolatrous things to death. This calls for radical amputation for some areas in our lives. You may be thinking, “I just can’t do that”. If you are a believer you must do that! We as Christians are to reflect God’s glory by manifesting in our lives the infinite value of Christ (Philippians 1:20).

It is my hope and prayer that you will capture a glimpse of the goodness of God so that your appetite for Him will increase and your appetite for this world will decrease. God is faithful to do His part, but we must do our part. We must pursue hard after Him so that we are fully satisfied with being all His.

Your Great Reward
And let us not grow weary while doing good,
For in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Galatians 6:9

HOW IT ALL BEGAN!

2005-10-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

God is an awesome God who keeps His promises! I never in a million years thought that I would be in California at The Master’s College studying Biblical Counseling. I have to admit my faith was weak when I first felt called to study Biblical Counseling. I didn’t believe it could happen because I couldn’t “see” how it could happen. But God says in His Word, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

The Christian life is a walk of faith. I don’t suppose to know what will happen before it happens. I must put my trust in the One who knows all things. I am slowly learning that if God has called me to something or has commanded something of me, then surely He will enable me to fulfill it, right? God promises in Philippians 2:13, “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” Well that’s exactly what He has done for me.

In 2002, I was beaten and bruised spiritually. I was desperate to be rescued from slipping into Satan’s grip. I was lost and confused. I knew that I needed to be at a church where the Word of God was honored and holiness was pursued. I was humiliated and embarrassed, but I returned to Grace Church as a single mother after eight years of marriage.

My daughter and I were warmly received and embraced at Grace Church. Through Pastor Doug’s faithful preaching and passion for God’s Word, I was reminded of how much God loves me. I began to cling to the truths of Scripture coming from the pulpit.

I was nurtured by the loving smiles and hugs I received every Sunday. I was pampered by the Monday evening dinners that were brought to my home. I was invited into their homes for lunch. I was edified by the friendships that were formed. I was strengthened by the prayers and the God-centered conversations on the phone.

My faith and hope were getting stronger. I began to dream again about what God wanted to do with my life in spite of the circumstances. Now I know that it is because of the circumstances, He has a calling on my life. I know now that God uses any and everything that has ever happened in a person’s life to bring glory to Himself and to edify believers.

July 17, 2005 was a very special to day for me. It was my last Sunday at Grace Church. I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from the congregation. I thank them for sacrificing their time and resources for my daughter and me.

I also must thank the readers at LaShawn Barber’s Corner. On June 6, 2005, my sister LaShawn posted my prayer request letter. Many of the LBC readers responded with encouraging words and financial support. I was overwhelmed by their excitement and kindness.

As a result of the prayers and support of individuals, the LBC readers and Grace Church, this is what happened:

I was able to send rent and deposit money for a place to live. I was able to purchase a car the very day I arrived in California. Within two weeks, I was able to furnish our room that is fitting for my daughter and me. On day 4, my daughter was able to go to Universal Studios with the YMCA!

Thanks to all for being apart of another promise from God found in Ephesians 3:20-21, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” God truly does “supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

There’s so much that I want to share with you about my classes and what I am learning. I hope to do that in future posts. Thanks for reading!

Until then stand with me on this promise from God: “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).